I can't even get laid to save my life!

Ok, so taking a break from writing about the past to bitch about the present. Behold my announcement of the day:

Last night, I was turned down by a guy. I was topless and straddling him and he said no. All I have to say to that is "dude, are you fucking shitting me!?!?!?"

Seriously? SERIOUSLY??????????

Where do I find these guys? Do I have a loser magnet embedded in me somewhere?