the wisdom of LC

I admit it. My guilty pleasure is watching "The Hills". Don't ask me why, I have absolutely no explanation. But I never miss an episode. Usually, it's a bunch of spoiled rich kids acting dumb. But his week, our protagonist actually said something quite wise and worth repeating.

"That could have been me. And as much as I love Jason, I'm so glad it isn't."

LC was referring to Jason's engagement to a girl he'd been dating for only a few months. But her statement reminded me of my own toxic exes. And I too, am so glad it isn't me. Thanks LC for reminding me that alone does not mean lonely.

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I don't understand!!!

This morning, I was catching up on some myspace in an effort to not get out of bed and go workout like I'm supposed to. I click my way through to Boy Toy's page. And lo and behold, he's got no less than 5 pictures of me in his albums. Seriously. This is the same guy who doesn't answer me when I message him. By now, I know enough about this kid to say I am not surprised by this, but I still can't comprehend him for the life of me!

Then again, maybe I deserve that kind of treatment. After all, I refer to him as a trophy so it's only fair he is entitled to do the same with me. Still, "trophy" does not equal "friend" in my book. They are mutually exclusive terms. But there are 4 pics of me in his "friends" album! I guess he defines the word "friend" quite differently from myself. I guess all I can do is scratch my head in bewilderment and get my sorry ass out of bed to tend to my workout!

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Alternative Lifestyle Companion

I have been declared an "alternative lifestyle companion", or just "ALC" for short. Sounds fascinating, but this terminology is really just a euphemism for "fag hag".

Tonight, I was invited to and attended an all-gay event. I am hereby a 100% grade A certified #1 hag. And I love it. I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body. Maybe the reason I can't find a nice boy to settle down with is that aforementioned "nice boy" is not attracted me to because I don't have a penis...?

Maybe I should try a sex change operation. This is of course a radical action, but it may actually be the solution to all my problems.

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must be something in the water...

All of a sudden, I've noticed all my classmates have been recently engaged, married or pregnant. Well, everyone except for single little me, of course. Did I miss a memo or something?

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10 pounds for $20

No, I am not quoting the exchange rate to British currency. I just made a bet with my schoolgirl crush that I can lose 10 pounds by Halloween or I owe him $20. The truly burning question here is not whether or not I can lose the weight, but whether or not losing the weight makes him more likely to tear my clothes off me. Somehow, I doubt this is the case, but a girl can hope. ;)

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