To all potential suitors...

...expand this post to learn how to make me swoon.

Feed me any/all of the following:

* Cupcakes from one of the following bakeries: Buttercup Bake Shop (NYC), Magnolia (NYC), Billy's Bakery (NYC), Crumbs (NYC), Yummy Cupcakes (Santa Monica/Burbank), Front Street Bakery (Long Island), Cake Man Raven (Brooklyn - slices of red velvet cake are HIGHLY encouraged from this establishment)
* Lemon meringue pie from Front Street Bakery (Long Island) or Little Pie Company (NYC)
* Vanilla Bean or White Chocolate Peanut Butter Truffle Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory
* Warm Chocolate Souffle
* Calamari Salad from Asia de Cuba
* Filet Mignon from Fogo de Chao
* A heaping bowl of rigatoni and a meatball in red sauce from Al Gelato (LA)
* Strawberry shortcake from Rachel's (NYC)
* Pad See Ew from Bangkok House (NYC)
* Shark's Fin Soup
* Cheesesteak with provolone and onions from Pat's (Philly)

Take me out to do any/all of the following:

* Rock climbing (preferably in Yosemite)
* Surfing (preferably on the North Shore or Bali)
* Wakeboarding
* Snowboarding/skiing (preferably somewhere in the Rockies or the Sierras or the Alps)
* Cow tipping
* Dancing (any form except for country line dancing, so long as you can hold your own!)
* The theatre (musical or play - bonus points if it's a work of Paula Vogel, Stephen Sondheim, Jonathan Larson, Leonard Bernstein, William Shakespeare or Harold Pinter)
* The opera (bonus points if it's by Puccini or Bizet)
* The ballet (bonus points if it's by Prokofiev)
* Karaoke (but you have to wail!)
* Skydiving
* Shoe shopping (for the extremely bold only, this is NOT an activity for the weak at heart!

Follow up by:

* Not assuming sex is a foregone conclusion
* Calling me
* Taking me out again
* Acting interested
* Introducing me to your friends
* Remembering my birthday
* Cooking me dinner
* Sending flowers or chocolates or cupcakes or pies
* Offering me a full body deep tissue or hot stone massage

All prospective suitors must have the following qualities:

* Above average intelligence
* A complex vocabulary
* Muscular
* Reasonably attractive (as judged by me and only me)
* The ability and drive to support oneself
* Willingness to commit
* Over the age of 27
* Respectful of others
* Strong will and strong opinions
* A liberal mindset
* A love of the arts
* A palate and appreciation for good food
* Must love and be willing to have children
* Supportive and a good listener

In return for all of the above, you will receive:

* Tons of pampering
* Your own personal pasta chef (me!)
* Endless nights of Wii challenges
* Someone who will wake up at the crack of dawn to conquer the great outdoors with
* A killer debate, Scrabble and Connect 4 opponent
* A belay slave
* Free concerts in your very own bathroom every time I shower
* A free maid who loves to vacuum and do laundry (but doesn't do bathrooms or windows, sorry)
* Lots of sleepless nights ;)

Clearly, I'm asking for too much. But I'm worth it.