leftovers

Remember the first time you fell in love? How completely, irrevocable, eternal and insane it was? And how every time after that was never quite the same? Well, I've been thinking about this. And I think that it's because each time we love someone, we leave a piece of ourselves with them. That piece may be small or large, but regardless, we leave that piece of ourselves with that person to never be reclaimed. This keeps going on and on and each new person we meet gets the "leftovers" - whatever part of us we didn't leave behind with the last person. My only question is when do we run out? When is there no more left? Is there a threshold for how much we can give up of ourselves until there is simply no more left to give?

Maybe this is the reason I haven't had a boyfriend in 6 years. I gave up too much of myself to My Favorite and EX, so I don't have anything left to give. I dunno. All I know is that I'm itching to replicate a feeling I haven't experienced in this millennium. Maybe it's the wrong goal and I'm mismanaging my expectations as a result, but it's truly what I want. Is there anyway to recapture enough of my innocence to make this feasible? Any reader input is encouraged!